Brother, I'm bored of this routine, and things have been stagnant lately.
Why is that?
I love fame. I see many scoundrels like us getting famous, and I want to be famous like themβto be someone of importance, known and talked about by everyone.
That's easy.
Easy?! How?
Yikes! You're still a novice; you've got a long way to go to understand how this works.
Fair enough, but explain it to me: how?
Do you want to enter history through its widest gates or its filthiest gates?
It doesn't matter. The important thing is to enter history and become famous, even if it's through the filthiest gate.
Perfect. In that case, poke the Muslims and watch how you turn from an unknown scoundrel into a famous one.
My fellow scoundrel, don't speak in riddles. Explain: how?
Try to incite and provoke Muslims through their sanctities.
I don't follow you.
I mean, try to insult their Prophet, draw a caricature of him, or burn a copy of their Holy Bookβand document your act with video and audio.
But they might not care, because such an act doesn't advance or delay anything, nor does it affect their religion!
That's true, but they have a different perspective. They are driven by their emotions. As soon as someone criticizes their sanctities, they will explode with rage. They will make you famous without you paying a single penny, without any advertising campaign. Trust me, theyβll give you free publicity you couldn't dream of. Just try it; you have nothing to lose.
Alright, I'll try...
After this dialogue ended, the first scoundrel burnt a copy of the Quranβthe easiest way, as he wasn't literate enough to read books to mock them, nor talented enough to draw the Prophet of Islam satirically. He found that the easiest way to provoke Muslims and tickle their emotions was burning a copy of their Holy Book, following his friend's advice.
Two days later, the two scoundrels met again and the following dialogue took place:
Man, where have you been? You are a literal treasure!
So, tell me what happened. My phone was broken so I haven't followed the events.
My name is on every social media site! Every TV channel is talking about me! I went from a scoundrel nobody knew into a celebrity.
Excellent! And who made you famous?
Just like you said, the Muslims made me famous. Imagine, as soon as I burnt the Quran and filmed it, I wasn't even home yet and I was trending on every site. Satellite channels started talking about me; I became someone important after being a nobody.
Imagine, I was nothing. Even my seventy-year-old neighbor used to spit in my face every time he saw me because I was an idler with no job.
That's the good news. Now your neighbor must see you as a person of status now that you're trending.
No, he still spits in my face. π
Oh? Why?
Turns out he doesn't follow the news or use the internet. So, in his eyes, I'm still just an unknown scoundrel...
And so, dear friends, this dialogue between the two scoundrels ended after the first became a celebrityβthanks to the Muslims who make fools and scoundrels famous. Wait for our next episode with a new scoundrel who will get famous at the hands of Muslims.
And they lived "happily" ever after.